Dear Steven Tyler;
The noise in your head doesn’t bother me so much, I get a lot of noise in my own head so I can relate, to a degree, but the words in your book really bothered me. A lot. Because the words in your book are a poorly put together bunch of sentences and nonsensical tripe. Way worse than almost any noise. Except for maybe that noise Jim Carey makes in “Dumb & Dumber” when they are having that most irritating noise contest.
Your anecdotes aren’t even funny or entertaining. Also – you sound a bit whiny. Did you know that? I mean, look, those who know even a bit about Aerosmith know about the drugs and the girls and the antagonistic relationship you and Joe Perry share. So, none of this is new(s). It felt like, in reading, someone doth protest too much. Seriously. This book could have been 100 pages shorter if the repetition had been edited properly. Usually, if someone is a dick or a jerk or an ass-hat but they are aware of that aspect of their personality and are upfront about said trait, I can deal with them and even find them funny or appreciate their eccentricities. For some reason, your upfrontness did not translate into me caring about your story (or you). I didn’t expect that from reading your book. I thought it would be a bit of fun, a brain-cleanse for the end of the year.
Also – I didn’t count but totally should – never have I encountered the word ‘placenta’ used so often in situations having nothing to do with birth or pregnancy. I do not think that words means what you think it means.
So that I am not a total cranky-pantsI about this read, I do have to give you props for your apparent Bookishness. The literary references were cool to find and I wouldn’t have guessed that about you, Steven Tyler.
Still, I would offer a bit of advice (that I know you won’t listen to, or even read for that matter but it’s fun to pretend):
a) placenta – get a dictionary, look it up and then use the word sparingly and in its appropriate context;
b) quit whining – no one likes to hear a person of wealth and privilege whine and complain;
c) find a boxing club, take Joe Perry and then hammer the hell out of each other in the ring for a while, The two of you really need to punch each other and I would say it is really time to get that shit out of your systems.
d) photos of nearly-naked 60+-year-old men are never a good idea. EVER. I don’t care who you are.
e) you should find something fun to do. FUN. Have some. Preferably with laughter. Antics equal not fun.
I think that’s it. There might be more but, frankly, reading your book made me tired.