The Truth About Luck – Iain Reid

I have been eager to get a copy of Iain Reid’s new book so when I received a review edition from House of Anansi – a surprise, and a great one at that – I was ecstatic and did not wait to jump into the story. Reid’s previous book, One Bird’s Choice was one of my favourite reads of 2010 and my expectations were sky-high for The Truth About Luck. It rocks! Hard!

From the book’s description:

 In The Truth about Luck, Iain Reid, author of the highly popular coming-of-age memoir One Bird’s Choice, accompanies his grandmother on a five-day vacation — which turns out to be a “staycation” at his basement apartment in Kingston. While the twenty-eight-year-old writer is at the beginning of his adult life, his ninety-two-year-old grandmother is nearing the end of hers. Between escorting his grandma to local attractions and restaurants, the two exchange memories and she begins to reveal details of her inspiring life story.
Told with subtlety, humour, and heart, this delightful comic memoir reflects on family connections; how we experience adversity, the passage of time, and aging; and most importantly what it truly means to feel lucky.

Sometimes you read a book and it is something you connect with so personally and deeply it can become nearly impossible to detach from it to assess or review in a constructive way. That happened with this amazing book. But, I have been thinking about it for a few days now and I feel – my personal attachment wrestled off to the side – the strength of Reid’s writing – the flow of the story and his ability to make us curious and really care about what he and his grandma are up to – make this book totally worth its 5-star rating.

Reid & his Grandmother, © Ottawa Citizen

Along with some eerie similarities between Reid and I (hello worry, anxiety and writerly lifestyle you crazy trifecta, you), our grandmothers are very similar women. Both were born in the U.K. (his in Scotland, mine in England (in 1917) but with her family she moved to Scotland very early on in her life). Both women lived through two World Wars and the depression and both ladies worked hard for most of their lives. As well, they are very smart and funny people. So, in reading Reid’s book, it was like having my grandma here with me again. (Sadly, grandma died in the summer of 2009, at the age of 92.) There were moments in the book that had me laughing so hard, tears streamed down my face and my stomach hurt. In one particularly hilarious scene, Reid’s grandmother somehow becomes entangled in her seatbelt. This quickly brought to mind an outing my grandma and I had together many years ago. It was a very hot summer day and we were going out for lunch. My car at that time was nicknamed ‘Oven Car’ – it was a notoriously bad place to be on hot, unrelentingly sunny days. I helped grandma into the car and as I got settled into my own seat, she suddenly lurched forward, grabbing the dashboard while shouting “My Ass is on fire!” But the dashboard was really hot too. “My hands are on fire!”, she then yelled. “How do you live like this?”, she wondered out loud while simultaneously trying to get undone from the seatbelt in some failed attempt at escape and fumbling with the interior controls, searching for the non-existent air-conditioning. It was so hot. But it was so hilarious and quickly became a funny story we liked to re-tell.

There were other, quieter moments, in The Truth About Luck that were beautiful and heartfelt. I am glad Reid – encouraged by his brother Jimmy – went with the idea of giving his grandmother time together as a birthday gift. They spent five days at Reid’s home in Kingston, Ontario talking, eating, seeing some local sites and learning things about one another they hadn’t previously known.

I have, unintentionally, been on this trend lately of reading books with older people featuring as main characters – here, Reid’s grandma is 92; last week I read Terry Fallis’ newest novel, Up and Down. It features a 71-year-old protagonist. The 100-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared by Jonas Jonasson, which I read a few months ago, was a completely endearing hoot. The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry by Rachel Joyce and Helen Simonson‘s Major Pettigrew’s Last Stand also feature characters of retirement age. Given our demographic trend towards an aging population, perhaps this is the new thing in publishing? If it is — I am a big fan. I can think of quite a few more books I have read and enjoyed in recent years that feature mature characters with interesting stories — I bet you can come ups with some great books too, if you think about it for a moment. As individuals, we have a lot to learn. Within developed societies, we take a lot for granted. Hearing about the experiences, challenges and triumphs of older generations should smarten us up and help us realize that older does not mean already dead. Older does not mean no longer worth our time. On the contrary, our respect, gratitude and time should be used to honour and value those who have come before us.

Helen Edna

I remember talking with my own grandma about the idea that when people get old they often get forgotten. She used to tell me how lucky she felt to have her family around her and I would feel really sad thinking about those who either had no one or had people who choose to stay away. My grandmother always had more energy and more of a social life than I ever seem(ed) to muster and I really hope to live as excellent a life as she did. So, I thank Reid for his wonderful book but also for the fact that through his book I was able to spend some precious, dedicated time remembering my own grandmother and the shenanigans we got up to together. That is a great gift to a reader indeed!

This is a much more personal review than I usually write. But I suspect this is happening to a lot of people reading The Truth About Luck. I feel that most people will find it a challenge to read this book in a detached manner. Reid’s style invites you in to a comfortable, relatable story that opens you up for reminiscence. Oh, and in a totally weird yet even more personal aside:  I really need to get in touch with Reid’s mum to find out about her use of plain yogourt to help her diabetic cat. My wonderful dog recently developed insulin-dependent diabetes and he’s had a very rough go these past few months. He’s a bit more stable now, thanks goodness, and I am researching ways to help him further. Reading that yogourt could be some sort of miracle supplement to help my dog’s coat and general health, well — I need to know more!

Edited to add: Reid recently spoke with the 49th Shelf about The Truth About Luck. It’s a great article!

My Favourite Reads of 2012

2012 was another wonderful year for reading so I thought I would share with you the list of books I really loved. I don’t claim this list to be comprehensive or exhaustive…it is just reflective of my reading over the past 12 months. Some of the titles were newly published in 2012 and others are not quite as recent. But, each of these titles resonated with me strongly. Whether through beautiful prose, memorable characters or compelling stories, each of these books found a place in my heart.

Fiction:

#10. 2666 by Roberto Bolaño. This is a dark, challenging and unsettling novel. Like David Foster Wallace, #3 on this list, Bolaño really challenged the idea of the traditional form of the novel with this book.

#9. The 100-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared by Jonas Johnson. This novel was an unexpected gem. Fun and funny, this book made me hope for more Scandinavian translations coming to English markets. It’s a fantastic contrast to all the “noire” books Scandinavian writers have become more well-known for in recent years.

#8. The Beginner’s Goodbye by Anne Tyler. Anne Tyler just gets human beings and hits readers in the heart.

#7. Wish You Were Here by Graham Swift. I reviewed this book for work nearly a year ago now and loved it so much. I feel like it really flew under the radar so like to tell people about it. Sure, it’s a difficult subject, but Swift’s prose is perfect.

#6. Wolf Hall and Bring Up the Bodies by Hilary Mantel. Okay, it’s a bit of a cheat because it’s two books — but I loved them both a whole lot and couldn’t choose one over the other. They really are as good as you keep hearing and I am suffering withdrawal waiting for the final book in Mantel’s planned trilogy.

#5. The Art of Fielding by Chad Harbach. This is Harbach’s debut novel. It pretty much made me want to quit writing because I could never do anything this amazing on my first go. You do not have to have a love of baseball, or even a passing interest in the sport to appreciate the story and its beauty.

#4. The Fault in Our Stars by John Green. I really don’t read Young Adult fiction very often at all. It’s all too supernatural, sparkly and fang-y for my tastes. BUT…this novel blew my mind. I read it to see if it would be appropriate for my 15-year-old niece (it is!!) and it ended up capturing my heart. Green treats his teenaged readers as smart, capable people. This novel is – in my mind – an elevated form of YA and gave me hope for the genre.

#3. Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace. BOOM! This novel is next to impossible to explain or summarize. It’s incredible and a big challenge for readers. I think it’s safe to say DFW was a genius and very interested in challenging narrative form and structure. Do not be afraid of the footnotes. And don’t even think about skipping them.

#2. Ru by Kim Thúy. What a quiet, beautiful story.

#1. In the Orchard the Swallows by Peter Hobbs. Hobbs’ novel has been sitting with me for months now. Another quiet, beautiful story, Hobbs accomplishes so much in a brief amount of space and with elegant yet simple prose. Another novel that flew under the radar, I would love for you to read this special book!

Nonfiction:

#5. Why Be Normal When You Could Be Happy? by Jeannette Winterson. Winterson’s early life was bleak but at no point is she trying to elicit our sympathies.

#4. Gold Diggers: Striking it Rich in The Klondike by Charlotte Gray. I loved the stucture of this book. Gray uses six different people to weave a bold picture of life in the Klondike.

#3. Every Love Story is A Ghost Story by D. T. Max. I read this right after finishing Infinite Jest and it really added to that novel. I knew a lot about DFW prior to reading this biography but Max adds humanity and compassion to the man and his very troubled life without straying into sensationalism.

#2. Flannery: A Life of Flannery O’Connor by Brad Gooch. while this wasn’t the best written book, the access Gooch had to O’Connor’s archives and personal letters made this a fascinating read.

#1. Beatrix Potter: A Life in Nature by Linda Lear. I love Potter and Lear did a fantastic job giving readers a big, full picture of Potter’s life – beyond her wonderful children’s books.

Honourable Mentions

* A History of the Present Illness by Louise Aronson – a short story debut collection from Aronson – an associate professor of medicine at University of California at San Francisco. I loved how the line between fact and fiction blurred for me while reading these stories.

* State of Wonder by Ann Patchett – now, I love Patchett and spend a lot of time wishing I was her. Haha — what’s not to love? She’s a tremendous author and, as of last year, owns and runs a successful independent bookstore in Nashville. This novel features some very thought-provoking subjects.

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I am quite liking that all of my 2012 favourites have to do with connecting. Whether it was because of a fiction writer creating strong characters trying to find their way in the world or nonfiction works that served to help me feel a kinship with their subjects, all of my choices were very personal reads for me this year and huge for the heart in their stories. (Though i am puzzling over how Mantel’s books fit this, exactly. Haha!!)

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I would love to hear your recommendations! What were the best books you read in 2012??

Bird Cloud – Annie Proulx

Bird Cloud, Annie Proulx’s first work of nonfiction in twenty years, is subtitled “A Memoir.” To many readers who might be hoping for a full-blown, linear account of Proulx’s life, this subtitle will be somewhat misleading and possibly disappointing. For careful readers and those with strong, natural curiosity, however, Bird Cloud will be a treasure in which Proulx reveals herself – sometimes directly and other times in more subtle ways. Proulx’s memoir is a great example of being shown what a person is about rather than being told what she is like. It is, admittedly, an untraditional way to present a personal memoir, but when examined as a portrait of a specific stretch of time – the building of Proulx’s home – the book becomes a beautiful reflection of that period.

Annie Proulx has achieved tremendous literary success with her works of fiction. She won the Pulitzer Prize and National Book Award for her novel The Shipping News, which tells the story of Quoyle, a lost and heartbroken father trying to create a life for his daughter in rugged and spirit-testing Newfoundland. She is also well known for her short story Brokeback Mountain, which received an O. Henry Award prize for fiction in 1998; the collection in which the story appears, Close Range: Wyoming Stories, was a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize in 2000. Both The Shipping News and Brokeback Mountain were adapted into poignant and visually stunning films. The film Brokeback Mountain, in fact, won seventy-one awards in 2005. Place is a recurrent subject in much of Proulx’s work. How people develop and respond to their geographic location in the world is a constant theme in her story-telling and is integral to the theme of Bird Cloud as well.

In 2003, Proulx became the owner of 640 acres of rural Wyoming property, after a ten year search for “the right place.” She purchased this one square mile of land from the Nature Conservancy, “[The] place, perhaps, where I will end my days. Or so I think.” Early on in the memoir, we are given clear statements that Proulx, who was sixty-eight at the time she began this process, was “intensely conscious of fleeting time”and was worried about “a time budget as [she] was not getting any younger. Bird Cloud is cleverly arranged with this idea of time in mind. Chapters alternate between the progress of Proulx’s house building and her areas of personal interest. A small drawing, created by Proulx, begins each new chapter of the book. The drawings, while simple on initial glance, are very detailed and striking.

To build her home at Bird Cloud, Proulx assembles a talented and diverse team of workers to construct the house. Men with such amusing monikers as The James Gang, Uphill Bob, Catfish and Mr. Solar, are entrusted with creating her dream home. That their names could have been plucked from one of Proulx’s own works of fiction is not lost on me. The James Gang, in particular, becomes very close with Proulx; they often take short camping holidays together, and at one point, one of the members of The James Gang and Proulx fly to the Mayo Clinic to have some health concerns addressed. Proulx had some concerns about her right hip and was worried about arthritis affecting the joint; while Deryl was struggling with some complicated issues with his health. He had received several troubling and different diagnoses in Wyoming, so hoped to get to the root of his problems by traveling to the Mayo Clinic with Proulx.

After three years of a construction process marked by obstacles, set-backs, and disappointments. Proulx finally moves into her new house. It has become evident to her, however, that despite her hopes the new house cannot be her final home. She is disappointed to learn that, contrary to her realtor’s promise, the road to Bird Cloud is not plowed during the winter, so it will impossible for her to stay there. Proulx continues her pattern of spending winters in Santa Fe and laments a lost dream, still restless in her search for the feeling of finally being home.

I was struck by Proulx’s curiosity about a variety of subjects. Archaeology, natural history, genealogy, Wyoming’s people, birds, books – all of these things inspire her to gather more knowledge. She seeks out experts and devours details and information. She carries a pocket microscope, so she can more closely examine articles of interest discovered while hiking or cross-country skiing. I had guessed, by reading Proulx’s fiction, that she spent much time on research and was as exacting with her details as she was in crafting her sentences. The details of Proulx’s memoir bear this out. We are given a feeling for Proulx’s writing process as, during the construction of her home and her subsequent move into the place, she is collaborating on a book. She writes about that project and also talks about her love of books, a love I share. I became a bit envious and excited as I read about Proulx’s “fifty-six book cases, each weighing hundreds of pounds” and “forty-odd boxes of manuscripts and drafts,”all well ordered and labelled; evidence, indeed of a curious mind and meticulous methods.

Through reading Bird Cloud, I feel as though I have come to understand more about Annie Proulx. This book is one that continues to grow on me as I recall remarkable details so brilliantly captured for readers. The last chapter is devoted to birds, in particular the eagles of Bird Cloud. Proulx’s observations are keen and when, at the end of the chapter (and the end of story) she sees a familiar eagle with a new partner, she has a momentary hope for the male bird. The female eagle, after being shown her potential new home, “took off, heading west, and the lone eagle pursued her. I assumed she didn’t like the place.” The following day both eagles are back, but it is too late in the year to start a family. Proulx notes this is “…a common wildlife situation of hope deferred.” And here is the heart of Proulx’s book: a story of hope deferred, for the birds, and for herself.

Book Lover’s Ball 2011 – Part One

Today, I finally have time away from work-work, so I can finally write my post about the amazing book event I attended on February 10th. The Book Lover’s Ball celebrated its 6th year in grand style. The event helps benefit the Toronto Public Library Foundation and it is a wonderful and unique experience. There was a healthy roster of Canadian authors present at this black-tie gala and each table of guests enjoyed the company of one author, during dinner. But…I am getting a bit ahead of myself here. I guess I should start at the beginning so you can have a full appreciation for how special this evening truly was.

The night before the event, February 9th, I made contact with Kirsti Stephenson, director of special events for The Mint Agency (responsible for the outstanding P.R. for the Ball). At the last minute, a member of the media was unable to attend so a vacancy had been created. Serendipity was smiling down and Kirsti extended a welcomed invitation to me which I very happily accepted. All of this occurred at about 7pm, giving me less than 24-hours to get prepared for the Ball. And yes, I did have a moment of feeling like Cinderella looking forward to attending the biggest party of the year (princesses aren’t usually my thing, though I will make an exception, at this time, for the coal-smudged, overworked Cinderella) . Along with being on deadline with a writing project, due the next day, I was looking like a regular ragamuffin! I was going to need more than a flock of chipper bluebirds and a mischief of mice to get me ready for the Ball!

My first priority was completing my writing assignment. Thankfully, I was nearly finished and had just a couple of hours of revisions and editing to get the piece to submittable status. By the time I finished, though, it was too late to call my hairdresser to see if she had an opening so I did what any other book-loving reviewer would do, I took to the internet to learn more about the authors I was not as familiar with who would be in attendance at the next evening’s event. Kirsti explained to me that there would be a cocktail reception from 6pm until 7pm. During this time, all of the authors would be mingling about, open to meeting and chatting with the guests. I wanted to ensure I had good familiarity with each writer (60 of them, in total), should I have an opportunity to meet with a writer who was outside of my reading and reviewing experience.

Thursday dawned and I was on the go! My hairdresser was booked up but one of her colleagues had an opening so I was able to get an appointment. Yippee!! First though, I was off for a mani-pedi. By the time I returned home at 3pm, I was coiffed, buffed and polished and ready for the party – except – I still had to figure out what to wear. In a lucky coincidence, I had two dresses, borrowed from my friend Cindy, as options for another special event that I ended up not attending. I chose a floor-length gown of Cindy’s that was beautiful. It was a flowing, black, sleeveless number, very Grecian in style, with beautiful beading around the waist. The theme for The Book Lover’s Ball was “Black and White and Read All Over” so the gown would be perfect. I make-up-ified and accessorized and was then ready to head downtown.

I arrived at the poshly adorned Royal York Hotel, an historical gem in downtown Toronto. As luck would have it, I arrived at the exact same time as writer, Graeme Gibson. An accomplished author, Gibson has also become known for being the partner of fellow author, Margaret Atwood. Ms. Atwood was away in England, so Gibson was without a date. He was looking very dapper in his tuxedo and tartan vest! We had a lovely chat as we made our way to the cocktail reception. Before I could ask some relevant book-related questions, Gibson was welcomed by several friends and my time with him ended as we neared the registration table. He was so kind and lovely! I presented myself at the media check-in and was greeted by some helpful volunteers. My name badge and table number secured, it was time to walk the red carpet! No, really! It was.

A red carpet was set up for guests to walk, in order to reach the cocktail lounge. This red carpet even came with some paparazzi – photographers and interviewers – ready to snap each guest’s arrival and ask questions of the many noted authors and local celebrities. Former Toronto comedienne, radio and television host Carla Collins was doing a great job promoting her new book. Then I noticed this, ummm, other lovely lady who had arrived dressed as Alice in Wonderland. Apparently, when The Book Lover’s Ball first launched, guests were encouraged to dress as literary characters, but this hasn’t been the case for a few years now. I would see Alice milling about, talking with an author every now and then and feel a weird disconnect from the reality of being at this amazing event. Perhaps I needed more wine?? The cocktail reception was beautiful. Held in two annex lounges off of the main ballroom, the intricate woodwork and marble that adorned the rooms was stunning. Coupled with the ornate ceilings, there was a certain period flair added to the ambiance of the evening. H’ors d’oeuvres were created by bad-boy chef, Marc Thuet. During the evening, a silent auction was running, with items to be bid upon ranging from books (of course) to trips, guest appearances by authors to sports memorabilia. Mostly, I was drooly over the bundles of books up for auction, courtesy of various Toronto publishers, but here was definitely something for everyone. People were spending a lot of time checking out the various items up for auction during the swish happy hour! While mingling before dinner, I had the opportunity to meet many writers, all of whom were gracious and interesting. My most in-depth chat was with poet, biographer and university professor, Richard Greene. “Rick”, as he introduced himself to me, won the 2010 Governor General’s Award for English-Language poetry. Greene has an upcoming biography on the life of Edith Sitwell due for release in Canada later this spring.

Here is a gallery of other authors I was lucky enough to meet during the cocktail hour:

From right to left are: Linwood Barclay with Lawrence Hill; Shilpi Somaya Gowda; Vincent Lam; and Claudia Dey.

Dinner began just after 7pm and, from the sounds within the room, everyone was having a great time. There was much laughter and a palpable buzz as we all enjoyed our meals. Following dinner was a fashion show that used themes from various books, such as Eat, Pray, Love and James Bond novels, to showcase some great designs from some amazing Toronto designers.

The biggest highlight for me came towards the end of the evening. I approached the bar and found myself standing next to Camilla Gibb (on the right, in photo). Now, Gibb is someone I have long admired. Her novels, such as Sweetness in the Belly, The Petty Details of So-and-So’s Life and her most recent releaseThe Beauty of Humanity Movement are evocative and richly detailed stories that transport the reader (or at least this reader) to another world. That Gibb is a brainiac (B.A., M.A., PhD (Oxford)) with a potential geek-factor makes her all the more awesome. So, here I was standing side-by-side with Gibb wondering how to introduce myself. I need not have worried. Due to a creepy skulker at the left side of the bar, I was drawn into the chat Gibb was having with a friend. “Did you see that?” I was asked, as they indicated off to the left. Yep, I had noticed the fellow in question. I think he had succeeded in giving at least three other women the heebie-jeebies in the few minutes I had been at the bar. Gibb, her friend and I, now in consort together over the gross-factor of the leech-man, ended up having a terrific conversation. I properly introduced myself and spent a very quick moment as a fawning fan, then quickly reverted to journalist-mode. Gibb gracefully accepted my praise for her writing and we spent nearly ten minutes chatting about the event, in general, and the internet as a tool for publishers and writers. I admit it, I developed a bit of a girl-crush after meeting Gibb, but excused myself so as to not overstay my welcome.

I had a wonderful time and hope to attend again next year! During dinner, I was seated with Anne Marie Aikins, manager of community relations with the Toronto Public Library. A few days after the event, I got in touch with Anne Marie to request some numbers for The Book Lover’s Ball. I wanted to be able to share the success of this annual event with you in a way that indicates just how important this event is for the library’s Foundation, as well as giving you an idea about where some of the money raised will be directed. Here is the message Anne Marie sent to me:

In its sixth year, The Book Lover’s Ball – Black and White and Read All Over – was once again a huge success raising $470,000 in support of Toronto’s Library and its 99 branches. This past February 10, 2011, almost 600 literary and library lovers gathered on February at the Fairmont Royal York and mingled with 57
celebrity authors including the likes of Brian Goldman, Camilla Gibb, Carla Collins, Kate Taylor, Lawrence Hill, Linwood Barclay, Robert Herjavec, Shilpi Somaya Gowda and Stuart McLean.

Guests enjoyed the delicious, French inspired hors d’oevres dished out by Chef Marc Thuet and showed their support of Toronto’s Library through a silent auction, raffle and a new fundraising initiative – Adopt a Branch raising an additional $22,000 in support library priority needs including collections, programs, and services and community spaces.

Wrapping up the evening was a stunning fashion show inspired by our city’s cultural diversity and its international – and internationally read – authors. Show designers included Nadya Toto, Second, Envers, Samuel Song, and Romona Keveza.

Toronto Public Library Foundation is grateful for the support of Presenting sponsor Sun Life Financial and other major sponsors including Toronto Star, TD Bank, Whitehots Inc., OSSTF, BMO Capital Markets, Harlequin, Rogers, Citytv, Hello Canada, Air Canada Vacations and Fairmont Hotels & Resorts.

I shall leave you with a few more photos of Canadian authors I was lucky enough to meet during the event:

From left to right, Stuart McLean; Annabel Lyon; Robert Herjavec with his Dragon’s Den co-star Arlene Dickinson; and Giles Blunt.

I hope you have enjoyed this post. I will add a new post, part two of the Ball, in a couple of days as there are many more wonderful photos to share with you! In the meantime, if you are in a position to help the Toronto Public Library Foundation, with a financial contribution, I know they would be greatly appreciative. Like many library systems in municipalities across North America, the Toronto Public Library will definitely be facing shortfalls for fiscal 2011. A new municipal government just took over the reigns of the city in November, 2010 and it has been made known that funding for our library system is not a priority. That so many citizens rely upon the services offered by the Toronto Public Library does not seem to matter, unfortunately. Please visit the TPL donation page if you are able to help a great cause. Thanks!! I’ll get off my soapbox now.

Credit for all photographs to George Pimentel. Used by permission from The Mint Agency, with thanks!

Perfection by Julie Metz

From the book description:

Julie Metz had seemingly the perfect life—an adoring husband, a happy, spirited daughter, a lovely old house in a quaint suburban town—but it was all a lie. Julie Metz’s life changed forever on one ordinary January afternoon when her husband, Henry, collapsed on the kitchen floor and died in her arms. Suddenly, this mother of a six-year-old became the young widow in her bucolic small town. But that was only the beginning. Seven months after Henry’s death, just when Julie thought she was emerging from the worst of it, came the rest of it: She discovered that what had appeared to be the reality of her marriage was but a half-truth. Henry had hidden another life from her. Perfection is the story of Metz’s journey through chaos and transformation as she creates a different life for herself and for her young daughter. It is the story of rebuilding both a life and an identity after betrayal and widowhood, of rebirth and happiness—if not perfection.

Julie Metz is a New York-born writer, graphic designer, and artist. In addition to Perfection she has written essays and commentary for The New York Times and The Huffington Post. She has also designed book covers for the novels: The Poisonwood Bible, by Barbara Kingsolver, The Gathering, by Anne Enright and Boom! Aftershocks of the Sixties by Tom Brokaw. Metz’s husband, referred to as Henry in the book, died at home from a pulmonary embolism on January 8, 2003. Perfection is the resultant effort from Metz’s time absorbing the shock of Henry’s death and then working through the rage of his discovered betrayals and mostly covers the three years following Henry’s death.

In an interesting precursor to the book, a note to readers is included:

“I have changed the names (except my own), and other details of persons in this book. I have not changed the name of a certain dog, which suited the animal and my story perfectly. Sometimes real life surprises fiction even in the details. I have, on a few occasions, changed the order of events, where those changes benefit narrative flow without altering a factual telling of the story. Otherwise, all dialogue and events took place as I remember and recount them in these pages.”

I can only attribute this to the James Frey fall-out.

Having said that, nothing about Metz’s account comes across as questionable or improbable. Her story, though,is very probably any partnered person’s worst nightmare realized. Imagine the sudden and unexpected death of your spouse, in your kitchen, felled by a fatal pulmonary embolism. Now imagine, six months later, discovering the person you trusted absolutely was not, at all, who you thought. Is it worse to be bereaved or betrayed? Often, as an attempt at comfort, those grieving are reminded that their loved one will live on in their memories but if those memories are compromised, does the deceased still manage an existence in our world and our minds?

Julie Metz, through a revelation from a close friend, comes to know her husband had been not just unfaithful, but a serial philanderer (who was also hiding secret debts) throughout their thirteen year marriage. Using her own journal entries, along with Henry’s electronic diaries and emails, Metz created Perfection. She has been noted as “brave”, “shocking” and “candid” in other reviews of her book but none of Metz’s tale strikes me as shocking nor do her actions smack of bravery. Metz just did did what she needed to emerge on the other side.

While Henry is lying, dead on their kitchen floor, Metz is cognizant of her “last normal moment”. Metz rages at her husband now beyond her physical reach: “Henry, you are so fucking lucky to be dead.”, calling him “…a piece of shit bastard”; her grieving shoved aside to rail against Henry’s betrayal. Metz manages to identify and contact six of Henry’s mistresses, challenging them on how they were able to participate in a relationship with a married father. Through these interactions Metz comes to gain a more complete picture of the man who was her husband. Through executor privilege, Metz arranges a meeting with Henry’s therapist who offers Henry’s diagnosis of ‘narcissistic personality disorder’ with an amazing ability to compartmentalize, not as an excuse but, perhaps as a peg to hang things on in an attempt at coming to understand her husband’s actions.

Metz definitely does a compelling job sharing her loves, her losses and the lies she must deal with, while offering a cautionary tale about the idea of perfection within a marriage.